Category: Personal Reflection
The Fine Line Between Caution & Fear
In the last month we have taken a couple of trips up to my family’s houseboat. My fondest childhood memories are from Instiable, and it is so fun to now watch my children begin to make their own memories there.
This last trip we witnessed Maddison perform a daring feat…she jumped off the top of the houseboat! It’s about an 8 feet drop from the roof to the water, so for a little 4 year old that’s quite a leap. My paternal instincts said to not let her do it. She’s too little; she could slap the water too hard; she could not jump out far enough and hit the boat!…as a parent you always think of the worst. But, I tuned all of that out and guided her out onto the ledge. While it’s scary to let your kid take chances, being overly fearful for them can be even worse.
Kids are little sponges. They observe our actions, our words, and especially our emotions. A fearful parent will breed a fearful child, and a fearful child often grows up to be a fearful adult. Too many of us, unfortunately & admittedly, let “fear take the wheel and steer” (a great line from the song Drive by Incubus) in our life, and it inhibits our ability to live life to the fullest. As parents, we should try to avoid instilling a fearful outlook in our children by means of our own fearful behavior.
There’s nothing wrong with being cautious. Caution can keep us safe and alive! But too much caution, even towards our children’s welfare, turns to fear that is detrimental to their well-being.
Becoming overly fearful doesn’t just apply to parenting; it applies to everything. In my mortgage and real estate practice, I often see clients, business owners, and myself make foolish, fear-driven decisions. I’m sure you witness (and experience!) the same thing in your life too! There’s a fine line between caution & fear, and it’s a tricky balancing act to pull off. Parenting, more than anything, has taught me that.
As for Maddison, I’ll continue to show her how to make life’s risky “leaps” correctly, knowing the day will come where she will hurt her body or someone will hurt her heart (even worse L). These risks, however, must be taken to keep her confident, fearless attitude intact. If only all of us can be as fearless as Maddison! The world would be a better place!
Being Professional Means Being Personal
A colleague recently mentioned he wanted to improve his biography page on his web site to come across more professional to clients. After making his “improvements” I noticed he polished up his professional accomplishments and completely removed the paragraph about his personal interests, hobbies, and passions.
This struck me. In my opinion, conducting yourself in a professional manner includes revealing yourself personally to create TRUST with others. In fact, that’s what this blog is all about! The slogan “Part Professional, Part Personal, Always Insightful” means I want to provide both professional and personal insight so you may better know and trust me and my services. WHO you are often means more to others than simply WHAT you do.
Maybe I feel this way because of my chosen field and the way I run my business. When helping clients, I often ask them personal questions about their life goals and dreams so I can best serve them and make the transaction’s outcome signify more than just dollars and cents. In requesting such personal information, it is only fair I reciprocate and divulge myself through the process. While driving around looking at homes or while giving advice about paying off a mortgage early, clients learn about my family, my boating obsessions, my ideals…they learn about me as I’m learning about them. As a result, many clients become friends. To me, professionalism is more than respectful demeanor, appropriate dress and market expertise; it also includes a personal panache that allows you, the client, to get to know, like, and trust me, the professional, as a person.
I consider this the “new-school” way of being professional. Simply doing your job well is not enough. You must do it passionately while exuding your values and your interests; your personal side.
If you are new to my blog yet appreciate this “new-school” professionalism, then read on and stay tuned. My ultimate goal is to develop a genuine, trusted relationship with you. At some point you’ll need real estate services, and I have faith you’ll confide in a REALTOR and mortgage broker that has been professional, personal, and always insightful.
Good Advice can become Bad Advice
Avery, our little smile factory, recently turned six months old. It’s such a wonderful phase of baby-hood; every little detail of this world fascinates her. She has become most curious and interested in food, as six months now marks the beginning of eating solids. It’s amazing how fast medical advice changes, because only four years ago we were advised to begin solids with Maddison at four months. Studies now show early introductions to food may lead to food allergies.
At first I was reluctant to buy into this allergy “theory.” To be honest, Avery hasn’t been the best sleeper and I knew that eating solids would help her (as well as Mary & me!) sleep longer at night. And besides, Maddison doesn’t have any food allergies despite starting solids at four months so what’s the big deal, right? Ultimately, I decided to follow the medical advice of the professional rather than pretend I was a doctor myself.
Why am I writing about baby food (don’t worry, I’m getting to the point here)? Because I’ve realized that doctors have the same difficult task as I do when it comes to advising clients with new information in an ever-changing world, and patients and clients alike must value the expertise their professionals possess.
Doctors say they “practice medicine” for a reason; their field is always changing. Medical advice from years past often becomes outdated due to new research, emerging technologies, and evolving diseases. And yet, many of us are slow to follow the new advice. As I almost did, we dismiss the professional’s advice and assume we know better.
Similarly, the real estate market is always changing too. Homeowners today are experiencing unprecedented dynamics when buying, selling, and financing their homes. Unfortunately, many folks are relying on their personal experiences from years past or on antiquated advice from friends, parents and neighbors to guide their decisions in today’s tumultuous and complex marketplace. Doing so can cost them a tremendous amount of headache, heartache, and money.
The simple truth is this: yesterday’s good advice can become today’s bad advice when you don’t keep up with the times. Our world changes quickly, so seek professional counsel in areas outside of your comfort zone. Like a doctor, I devote a large portion of my mortgage and real estate “practice” to staying current on the trends of the markets so I can best help you make informed decisions in a fast-paced industry. I am committed to provide up-to-date expertise to you and to those you refer. As always, thank you for reading.
It’s The Climb
A few months ago my brother, Andy, climbed Mt. Kilimanjaro, the tallest freestanding mountain in the world. The trek requires 6 days of climbing to get to the 19,000+ summit and back. Needless to say, I was eager to hear of this trip that took him to the top of an African mountain like no other on this planet. Over a beer and a narrated slide show, Andy shared with me the details of this life-changing adventure.
As I now reflect on his stories, I most remember his journey up the mountain rather than his time at the top. Sure, the pictures of the summit were breath-taking, and the sense of accomplishment I saw in him was inspiring. But, in life’s adventures it’s often the challenges, not the triumphs, which best define the experience. On Andy’s climb, one of his porters broke his leg, so they had to carry on with fewer resources until a replacement could catch up with their team. On the day before the summit he climbed a cliff called Barranca Wall, a steep 800 foot vertical climb that intimidates many climbers to simply turn back down the mountain. Andy and his team were amongst the first that day to tackle it, meaning they had a unique opportunity to be at the summit in solitude. These challenges they faced and overcame are the pieces from his adventure that I most remember.
As the great philosopher Miley Ray Cyrus says, “It’s The Climb” (listen to it here) *
“I may not know it,
but these are the moments,
that I’m gonna remember most yeah,
just gotta keep going.”
It’s no secret; life is challenging for everyone. For you, for me, for your co-worker that you think has it easy…for everyone. Over the last 2 years, several of my posts have been about dealing and struggling with challenges; I know I’ve been redundant, but we live in challenging times. We are all facing our fair share of financial, relational, spiritual, and physical challenges:
February 2008 – Living In Gratitude
August 2008 – Challenges
March 2009 – Hurricanes
April 2009 – Win Some, Learn Some
In some way, all of these posts have also been about embracing challenges. “There’s always gonna be another mountain”, and “it’s always gonna be an uphill battle.” We need to learn to embrace challenges, because life is rarely a cake-walk. We can keep our eye on the summit and relish those moments when we’re at the top, but we need to remember that it’s the climb that defines our journey. I think Andy would agree.
*The song “The Climb” is provided only for illustrative purposes, and is not meant to be distributed without copyrights 🙂
5 Reasons Why Refinancing May Be a Good Option Now
I came across an article this morning that speaks volumes about the attractive yet and narrow opportunities for refinancing in the current lending environment. I believe we will see rates increase by ~1/2% in Spring 2010 (more insight on that to come in a later post), so now is the time to act on refinancing.
RISMEDIA, February 4, 2010—Mortgage experts from Bills.com, one of the leading resources for free, objective and expert money advice, advised that consumers considering a home refinance should begin the process now. Further, the company reported that the most frequently asked question of its Ask Bill expert advice center concerned home refinancing rates and recommendations.
“Market conditions have aligned to make this a perfect environment for home refinancing,” said Ethan Ewing, president of Bills.com. “Low rates and compelling opportunities to refinance into shorter term loans have arrived at the same time as large consumer demand.”
Ask Bill is a free service that allows consumers to ask any money question of human experts and receive personalized advice to their inquiries. One of the most frequently asked questions of 2009 concerned interest rates for home refinancing.
This high level of interest on behalf of consumers corresponds to favorable market conditions for refinancing. Specifically, these factors include:
1. Interest rates continue to hover around all-time lows, making it sensible for anyone carrying a higher rate interest loan to consider refinancing. With some exceptions, a 1/2-point to a 1-point drop in rate will generally make refinancing worthwhile.
2. Low fixed interest rates make converting from an adjustable rate loan into a fixed 15- or 30-year loan a smart move. Even if the adjustable payment is currently lower than a fixed rate payment, when rates rise again the monthly payment on an adjustable rate loan will quickly leapfrog a fixed rate loan.
3. The current difference between fixed 15-year and 30-year interest rates is significant, making refinancing into a shorter-term loan a compelling opportunity. This can save hundreds of thousands of dollars over the life of a loan and shorten the time to payoff with sometimes only a slight increase in monthly payment.
4. FHA efficiency mortgages provide consumers with an opportunity to refinance into a loan that will help pay for home efficiency improvements. These loans are meant to provide consumers with a way to make energy efficient improvements to their home as part of an origination or refinancing. This is a great way for homeowners to cost-effectively lower their utility bills through basic home repairs.
5. Those homeowners whose equity situation has steadily deteriorated, leaving them with little, no or negative equity in their homes, should ask their lender or broker for help. Most have some flexibility with government programs aimed at reducing rates for homeowners in weak equity positions.
“This interest rate environment provides opportunities for those trying to escape high interest rates as well as those making savvy long-term financial decisions,” continued Ewing. “Anyone considering a home refinance should move quickly to lock in rates now.”
What Does Your Bumper Sticker Say?
I recently stopped at a red light behind a Purple PT Cruiser that had a bumper sticker that caught my eye. It read:
It was the perfect message to counter the feelings I had at the moment. Do you ever find yourself worrying about the worst, and ignoring the great things that could become? Lord knows I do all too often. This bumper sticker, of all things, turned my day and attitude around. I don’t know who was driving that PT Cruiser, but if given the chance I would say “thank you.”
This experience made me consider how a bumper sticker’s message can be analogous to the everyday actions that leave impressions on others. Think about it…you have people in your life that always lift your spirits when you are around them. Conversely, I would bet you also have others who drain you emotionally or who always focus on the negative (I know I have those folks around!). Now think about this…what type of impression are YOU leaving on others? What type of impression would you LIKE to leave?
In other words, when you are driving down road’s path, what do those driving near you read on your life’s bumper sticker? Is it a peace sign? Is it cynical political commentary? Is it Calvin urinating on your sports team rival? If it is a message to others that says “encourage your hopes, not your fears” then let me applaud you. Your outlook is having a profound, positive impact on those around you; or at the very least on me.
So, tell me…what would you like others to read on your bumper sticker?
Ben Bernanke: Friend or Foe?
Ben Bernanke, the chairmen of the Fed (the “non-governmental” financial entity responsible for the United States’ monetary policy) has a hearing with the Senate tomorrow. The hearing is officially a congratulatory event in the wake of his reappointment to a 2nd 4-year term as chairmen. But unofficially, it will be used to blast him and the Fed’s decisions during Bernanke’s 1st term (which included the final stages of the housing bubble and the financial crisis of 2008).
None of this makes sense to me. The man is re-appointed for (presumably) a job well done while simultaneously taking heat for a poor job done. Which is it? Is Big Ben our friend or foe?
In my opinion, Ben Bernanke’s decisions during the 2008 financial crisis and the challenges thereafter should be applauded. And guess who agrees with me? Warren Buffett (watch this video). Ben spent decades prior to 2008 unknowingly preparing for the tough decisions he had to make last year. He is a “scholar” on the Great Depression, and while studying at Stanford he wrote a transformational thesis that identified the unexplained reasons for the Depression. He essentially said this: banks are disproportionately important to the health of a society’s economy. When banks are overly concerned about lending money, businesses suffer and thus the economy suffers. When the economy suffers, banks lend out less money and businesses suffer more, and the downward spiral continues.
When faced with the unprecedented problems of 2008, Ben seemed to use this road-map-of-sorts thesis when figuring how to deal with the crisis. #1) he saved banks to instill confidence in the financial markets; #2) he took over Fannie Mae & Freddie Mac to infuse liquidity into the mortgage lending market; and #3) he created and borrowed boat loads of money (trillions!) out of thin air to do #1 and #2). He and the Fed saved the entities worth saving in order to save the greater good. Yes, big banks were bailed out and individuals were dismissed, but it was for the greater good.
I hope that in the coming months the direction of our country’s monetary policy remains in the hands of financial geniuses like Ben Bernanke who have spent their careers steering our country’s finances. Let’s all hope we don’t turn the monetary keys over to ill-equipped Congressmen and women who have plenty of other policies (Social Security, Health Care, etc.) to tackle.
Agree? Disagree? I’d love some discussion.
Look Around, Within & Out to Instill a Thankful Attitude
Thanksgiving is next week, and I have a lot to be thankful for as Mary & I brought our 2nd daughter into this world last month. Avery Rowan is a healthy, beautiful reminder to be grateful for life’s gifts. I just stare into that cute little face and am thankful for the miracle of life.
Most of us will gather around the Thanksgiving table next week and share with one another what we are most thankful for. This is a great annual family tradition, but sometimes our busy lives make it easy to forget to live in daily gratitude. When I do not have a sweet, snugly newborn around, I use a concept I learned from a business coach (thanks Brian Sharp!) to help me reinforce a thankful heart. I wanted to share it with you near Thanksgiving in hopes that you may find it helpful as well.
I call it my GAP meditation. Daily, I try to write down three things in my journal. 1) I write what I’m most grateful for; 2) I write an affirmation about myself or a goal that I have; 3) I write a prayer about or for someone. Grateful. Affirmation. Prayer…GAP.
This quick exercise forces me to LOOK AROUND at the abundant goodness in life, to LOOK WITHIN at what I value and aspire to become, and to LOOK OUT for others. And by writing it down I find that it lingers in my heart and actions through out the day. It has been a wonderful way for me to stay focused on what and who I am thankful for.
Having a thankful heart is the best medicine for a healthy attitude, so be thankful every day of the year.
Have a thankful Thanksgiving!
A Letter from Spencer
Hi There,
Matt has given me the honor of guest writing this month’s Matt’s Memos. If you have been reading his Memos you probably know my name. Matt has been sending his letters to all of my clients as well as his while I spent the last year battling cancer. I had multiple myeloma, a type of blood cancer. It was the fight of a lifetime and I almost lost. However, I had a bone marrow transplant at Stanford last September and I am now cancer free. The recovery from a bone marrow transplant has been rough but I am mostly back at work now.
It was the experience of a lifetime. My family and I had amazing support from our community. That includes family, friends, neighbors, co-workers and my clients. The support we received came in the form of many person-hours doing everything from preparing meals, babysitting, driving back and forth to Stanford, dental work, construction work, housecleaning, nursing, doctoring, financial planning, and most of all, prayer and good wishes. My gratitude for this support is something that I have trouble expressing in a meaningful way. The fact is that I can never repay all of the good karma sent my way, but I want to acknowledge it here. Thank you!!
Probably the biggest support I received was from Matt. He worked double time to take care of my job duties and my clients while I was gone. He also asked nothing in return for this. Anyone that knows Matt knows he is a good guy, I am here to say that he is the kind of guy that would make huge sacrifices to take care of a friend.
It is said that every dark cloud has a silver lining. For me, the silver is in discovering just how powerful a community of people from many different walks of life can rally to a cause and make a big difference. That is a lesson that I will carry with me for the rest of my life. It gives me hope that through all of the craziness of today’s world, that the goodness in all of us will prevail over the challenges.
Philosophizing aside, I am now back at work and ready to face the next stage of my life; living life as a cancer survivor. My experience has made me appreciate everything I have even more. Furthermore, I’ve made a commitment to Matt to help him take care of his clients whenever he has the need. As a result you may be speaking with me from time to time if you are doing business with Matt.
Another commitment that I have made is to live my life fairly openly so that others may learn from my experiences. I have received a lot of positive feedback for my blog and how it has helped others understand what it is I went through. I started it back before I got sick. The entries follow the arc of my process and are often raw, sometimes profane and personal and they rarely have anything to do with business. It is there for you to read or not. I still put in new updates on a regular basis. The address is http://www.puddinrider.blogspot.com. Also, I am an avid Facebook user. If you are too, please send me a friend request. Of course if you want to chat, give me a call.
Best Wishes,
Friend of your Mortgage & Real Estate Consultant for Life
Spencer Rubin
Matt Sundermier's Memos on Real Estate & on Life 